<!-- --><!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(http://beta.blogger.com/css/navbar/classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/8590121217398110888?origin\x3dhttp://dreamsrforeva.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <iframe src="http://beta.blogger.com/navbar.g?blogID=36048451" height="30px" width="100%" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" id="navbar-iframe" frameborder="0"></iframe> <div id="space-for-ie"></div>
Sunday, May 27, 2007

food for thoughts...

i still want u to noe that i care for u alot... n i thought that its abit too much.. was very disappointed in the way i was treated.. no i dunwan live in self denial.. the way u make me feel is juz that u couldn't be bothered... i juz feel so frustrated when i think that everything is so one sided.. im very tired.. very tired... always thought simple gestures were enuff to make one feel appreciated.. the postcard i always wished for never came before syf.. all i got was juz a good luck n a repetition of the words i send to u before.. try ur best n no regrets.. does tt really help? we never really talked much in school.. i think the most we said to each other was juz hi.. and a smile and that is all.. always hoped that u will be more spontaneous.. do something little for me that will brighten up my day.. but i was the one that always msg u the good nite and good lucks.. i gave all i had but i onli gt replies once in a while...

i juz dun realise that how many msgs were sent to people but not me.. in any case, i juz feel so cold from ur side... so cold n i already brought it up... din really change much...u never did told me much about u.. i never did shared much about u.. u nva told me wad went wrong wif me... so many things need figuring out... n i feel so alone doing all the job...

wad dun really make sense is that all u said was.. i was possessive... i thought about it very much.. i guess it was juz a misunderstanding of the word possessive between us... for me.. possessive means not giving the freedom to do wadever u want.. for u, possessive might mean holding u back wif juz a presense.. wadever the case it is.. i think i should learn from it. i always find it within myself.. but sometimes the problem juz cant be found... is it me or is it you? i dunno... i never stopped u from going out wif ur frens.. i nva stopped u from doing wadever u want.. i juz dunno how u thought i was possessive n i really needa noe that.. always struggled wif myself n i always had my idea of wad is right and wad is wrong.. feeling jealous when u are talking to other guys is wrong.. tts y im trying veyr hard not to feel tt way... but feeling disappointed when u din come talk to me is wrong? i doubt so... even when it is going out.. its almost always me asking u.. n u always said u go out wif frens.. start of april u said muz wait till may.. now may is ending n we still arent going out together... told u i was not alrite n wanted to ask u out.. all u said was not free.. n i din even asked y.. i juz said nevermind... n tts possessive... spent dunno how many sleepless nights thinking how to help u wif ur studies n how to make ur life more colourful n tts possessive.. doing mindmaps for u, making cards, notes, folding birds, simple lil gestures is possessive.. n i kept quiet for so long about how hard it is to send a msg about how frustrated i was wif sch n band wadever n did not receive a reply.. haha! does it even help? i juz gotta trust u that u got my msg n feel my pain.. but its not shared.. n its difficult to even trust that u will feel anithing... no fone calls no wadever...

and all i wanted was for u to show me more care... more concern.. be there for me.. n become 2 very good frens.. help each other through everything... tell me everything will be fine... and is thats so difficult..


its no more about commitments or wad.. gone were the days when u wud ask me out to study wif u.. gone were the days where we will go out n buy bubbletea together... right now, wad i feel is that u have moved on..

think trying to make u more committed has resulted n this possessive behavior... thought we drifted so far apart.. u nva did realise how i felt.. neither do i noe how u feel.. communications breakdown.. abit sadded.. we wun blame anibody.. i wun blame u... maybe its juz that we werent ready for each other yet.. guess i gotta cool down first... i think i went in too deep too early...

always learn lessons in life n keep them well...

hope we are ready to start anew soon...


180 cranes for an 18th birthday... bringing u all the hopes and happiness.. incomplete but nearly there

Blogged @ 12:44 PM
>,<©нє®¦§ђίηğ Ēυέřұ мөм℮ή+ ŦσĝЄŧңέя Ŵħεή ζ @м ŦЂεѓ€ ωϊ₣ γσμ ™ -